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style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'>
<span style='font-family:"Arial Narrow";mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Narrow";'><font face="Times New Roman">
<font size="4">Alipore
</font>
</font></span><font size="4" face="Times New Roman">Jail</font></b></p>
		<div class=Section1>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><i><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>IN Alipore Jail we spent a
whole year, from <st1:date Month="5" Day="2" Year="1908">2nd May 1908</st1:date>
to <st1:date Month="5" Day="6" Year="1909">6th May 1909</st1:date>, as undertrial
prisoners. This period might be divided into four distinct phases, according to
the type of quarters we were allotted and the kind of life this gave us. These
phases were however not of equal length.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:.15in;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>The
ward we were assigned in the first instance – this was known as the &quot;44
Degrees&quot; – was where we had to spend most of our time in jail, and this in
two instalments, once at the beginning and again at the end. The name &quot;44
Degrees&quot; was given because the ward consisted of 44 rooms; these rooms
were actually more like cells. You know the kennels and sheds where dogs and
poultry are kept? These were something very similar. Whatever was to be done
had to be done within the four walls of one single room – small and dark; there
was no such thing as a screen or even any kind of privacy. Normally, these
cells were set apart for the use of criminals like dacoits or murderers and
<span class=GramE>they</span>
were kept singly, one in each cell. But we were kept in batches of three, for
whatever reason one cannot say. Perhaps the idea was that if one of us tried
to commit suicide, the other two would stop him! How utterly man could degrade
man to a state worse than that of beasts even, one might say, was illustrated
admirably by the life one had to lead in these &quot;44 Degrees&quot;. Wordsworth
must have had good cause to write:</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>And much it
grieved my heart to think </p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>What man
has made of man!<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>
<span
style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;'>Page – 373<o:p></o:p></span></p>

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<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-top:0;text-align:justify;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;tab-stops:11.0pt;mso-layout-grid-align:none;
text-autospace:none; margin-bottom:0'><span style='mso-tab-count:1'>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>But of course one
might take this as a fine opportunity for our training and discipline: out of
much evil cometh much good. They say the spiritual life is not
for those who do not conquer shame and disgust and fear, and these three things
we had to give up almost without a thought while we lived in jail. And in my
case at least, this sharing of a single room by a group of three proved to be
on the whole happy, It was my great good fortune, I must call it a good fortune
indeed, that my room-mates were entirely to my taste and their company wholly
happy and beneficial. One of them was Upenda (Upen Banerjee); the other was Sachin
Sen Gupta who was almost like a younger brother to me. Sachin had been the
youngest member of our group – he was hardly sixteen yet, He was a nephew of
Makhan Sen, the revolutionary leader of <st1:City><st1:place>Dacca</st1:place></st1:City>,
A point about Sachin was that he was a good singer with a very fine voice. His
songs were mostly of the patriotic kind, but he sang them so sweetly and with
such feeling that it was really a joy to hear him, especially for us who lived
under such conditions in jail. I used to try and sing with him in unison and-even
managed to learn a few of his songs. This was my first acquisition in jail.
After his release from jail, Sachin joined the Ramakrishna Mission at Belur
Math and died at a rather early age.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:13.5pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>Of
about the same age was Sushil, the famous Sushil <span class=GramE>Sen whom the
Presidency Magistrate Kingsford had sentenced to be whipped.</span>
Let<i>
</i>me relate an amusing incident concerning Sushil here. When at the end
of the trial, the Judge invited each of us individually to say if we
had any statements to make, Sushil stood up in the dock and declared that he
did not wish to say anything in front of the Judge because, as he put It,
“whatever I say will be twisted into law<i>.&quot; </i>The whole<i> </i>court-room
roared with laughter.<o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:13.5pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>Upenda
occupied the position of both leader<i> </i>and teacher. It was he who
taught us the Gita at the <st1:place><st1:PlaceName>Manicktolla</st1:PlaceName>
 <st1:PlaceType>Gardens</st1:PlaceType></st1:place>. Here in Jail, by living <span
class=GramE>In</span> his company, I learned a lot<i> </i>of things<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>
<span
style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;'>Page – 374<o:p></o:p></span></p>

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<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span class=GramE>from</span>
him, he gave me much courage and energy and enthusiasm and some very good advice.
I am grateful to him for all that. He had a particularly soft corner for me,
perhaps because his wife's name was also Nolini. He had given me a suggestion
as to what sort of defence I should put up in court. &quot;You should
say,&quot; he explained, &quot;that you do not know anything, that you met me
accidentally at your Mess, and that it was I who on finding in the course of
our talk that you were interested in Indian philosophy invited you to come to
my readings in the Gita's philosophy. You had no other motives or evil
intentions.&quot; Upenda had also explained to me certain ways of doing
meditation and this helped me pass some of my time in jail.<span
style='mso-tab-count:1'>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:11.25pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span
style='mso-bidi-font-weight:bold'>It<b> </b></span>was not altogether bad
during our first month of jail. And afterwards, when the case came up before
the trying Magistrate, we began to have a really good time. For henceforth we
had an opportunity to know and meet and talk with everybody else. We drove to
court together making a lot of noise on the way; we stayed together in court
for the most part of the day; and we drove back again in company. That was
enough to keep us gay.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:11.25pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>This
first phase of our life was over by the end of a month and a half. The scene
now opened to still brighter prospects. As the authorities discovered that we
meant no harm and were perfectly good boys, they offered us a much nicer place
for our stay. <span style='mso-bidi-font-weight:bold'>It </span>was a spacious
hall divided into three compartments, with a verandah and a courtyard in
front. And our daily ablutions were now to be performed outside. This second
phase of our life became something truly remarkable. Outside, in court, we met
everybody. Back home, in the jail, we could meet anyone we chose at any hour of
the day or night. Gradually, the company began to take a particular form and
shape. We formed ourselves into groups according to each one's taste and
predilection. Thus the three compartments of the hall came to be divided into
three distinct groups. Sri Aurobindo occupied a corner<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>
<span
style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;'>Page – 375<o:p></o:p></span></p>

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mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none'>

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</div>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span class=GramE>in</span>
a particular room. Hitherto he had been kept quite separate from us and this was
the first time he came in our midst. In his room gathered all those who were
interested in the spiritual life, in <i>sadhana </i>and meditation. <span
class=GramE>Barin</span> joined here. To the central section of the apartments
came those who looked for some kind of mental culture, they were the more
&quot;intellectual&quot; types. Here Upen took the lead and I too spent most of
my time here because of him, The third compartment belonged to the atheists and
rationalists, the so-called &quot;practical&quot; men, Hem Das and his chief
disciple young Krishnajiban ruled here. The groups exchanged banter freely
among themselves, but there was never any dearth of good feeling and
friendship. It was again during this period itself that we got permission to
read books, and a few volumes reached our hands. My people sent me Bacon's <i>Essays,
</i>Shakespeare's <i>King<span style='font-family:"Arial Narrow";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Narrow"'> </span><font face="Times New Roman">
<span style='mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Narrow"'> John</span></font><span style='font-family:"Arial Narrow";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Narrow"'> </span></i>– I still remember these
titles – and several other titles of the type used in my college as textbooks.
Some works of Vivekananda came and also the Brahmavaivarta and the Vishnu
Puranas in the Basumati edition. All of these books we went through over and
over again, times without number, for new books could not be had for the
asking.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:11.75pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>But
questionings too began to arise: and what next? Must we rot in jail for the
rest of our lives, say for ten years or perhaps twenty? And supposing some of
us were to be hanged, that too did not seem to be a particularly desirable end.
<span class=GramE>Barin</span> got an idea: we must break out of jail. Our
lives, he argued, were going to be wasted in any case, so why not do something
worthwhile before we lost all? He consulted some of the others and began to
form his plans. Even maps and charts got ready and contacts were established
with co-workers outside, such as the Chandernagore group with men like Srish
Ghosh at the top. The idea was to carry out the <i><font face="Times New Roman">
<span style='mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Narrow"'>coup</span></font><span style='font-family:
"Arial Narrow";mso-bidi-font-family:"Arial Narrow"'> </span></i>sometime in
the evening when we were usually left at large in the pen compound of our ward.
With pistols in hand, we were to rush to the compound wall. Our friends<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>
<span
style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;'>Page – 376<o:p></o:p></span></p>

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mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none'>

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<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span class=GramE>would</span>
be posted outside with their arms. From there they would throw in ropes and
ladders. We would keep on shooting as we climbed up the wall and then jump on
to the other side. From there we would make good our escape in carriages –
there were no cars then – along a route fixed in advance and straight to the
river-side. There the boats would be waiting. We would sail down the river and
on to the Sunderbans and the deep jungle, as in the story of <i>Debi
Chowdhurani </i>of Bankim.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:11.5pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>There
were many who could not approve of this romantic plan of Barin. But I was one
of the small fry and was prepared to obey orders, whatever they might be. For
it had been part of our ideal in life:</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:11.5pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>Theirs not
to reason why, </p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>Theirs but
to do and die:</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span class=GramE>to</span>
quote the poet's words with which my class-fellows greeted me on my first
appearance in College after the release. We ourselves had often been singing
the refrain,</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>We care not if we lost our
life itself </p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span style='mso-bidi-font-weight:
bold'>In<b> </b></span>thy service, O Mother,</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span class=GramE>With
&quot;Bandemataram&quot; on our lips.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='line-height:150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:
none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:10.3pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>Sri
Aurobindo however refused to have anything to do with <span class=SpellE>Barin's</span>
plans. &quot;As far as I am concerned,&quot; he said, &quot;I mean to stand the
trial&quot;</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:10.05pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>Another
group, consisting of some four or five persons, had in the meantime been
hatching another plan in secret. Kanai Dutt was there, and Sat yen Bose;
perhaps Hem Das also was in the know and Upen and Ullas too. But they did not
say a word and showed only by their deed what they had meant to do. </p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:10.3pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>Close
on this second phase of our life came the third. The authorities had known us
long enough by now to get con<span class=SpellE><span
class=GramE>vinced</span> </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>
<span
style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;'>Page – 377</span><span
style='color:blue'><o:p></o:p></span></p>

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mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none'>

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</div>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>
<span class=SpellE>that we could make no trouble, not even the
kind of indiscipline which they expected of the ordinary prisoners. There was
the big hall where all the forty of us were lodged. Each had his allotted
space, with his own &quot;altar,&quot; that is, a mound of earth that served as
the bedstead and was covered with a blanket; at one end the mound was raised
slightly to do duty for the pillow. I had at first nothing but disdain for this
piece of earth, but later I came to appreciate its value, as I shall soon
relate. Outside the hall, there was a huge courtyard where the water taps were
and an aqueduct to carry off the surplus 'water where one could even take bath.
The kitchen was near at hand and its smells filled the whole place. Up above
there was the open sky. One could always come out into the open during the day;
the sentries were extremely courteous. We had a regular supply of vegetables
and even fish and meat, from outside, and we were sometimes allowed to cook.
Inside, within the hall, all manner of games and frolic were on – it was a
regular fair. There was acting and caricature, recitation and song, an endless
mirth.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:12.0pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>In
the midst of all this, Sri Aurobindo occupied his little corner engrossed most
of the time in his <i>sadhana </i>and meditations. But occasionally
he too did not hesitate to join in our childish pranks. One day I asked to hear
from him something in the Greek language. He gave us a recital of ten or
twelve lines from Homer. That was the first time I listened to Greek verse.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:12.0pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>Such
was the picture of our outer life. <span class=GramE>But how about the inner
feelings?</span> There a fire had been smouldering. <span class=GramE>Barin</span>
had suggested that it would be easier and more feasible if we tried to make
good our escape from jail itself, for we used to take our strolls in the yard
adjoining the compound wall and the sentries also did not seem to be much too
alert. Revolvers began to be collected – in what manner I shall explain later.
But how did we hide them? Well, I had one in my keeping. On .one side of the
mound we used as a bed I had made a hole. In order to prevent discovery and
lest<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>
<span
style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;'>Page – 378<o:p></o:p></span></p>

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<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span class=GramE>the</span>
sentries should know, I used to sit with my back against the mound and go on
digging with my bare hands from behind. The earth was removed to either side
and covered with the blanket. In this way the pistol could be kept hidden in a
cavity within my &quot;bed&quot;. The opening was plastered over with mud and
then covered up with a tin plate on which they served us meals. But what
happened to the pistol I left buried in this way I do not know. For as these
plans and preparations were getting under way, there came a bolt from the blue,
a deluge that swept away everything like a house of cards. It was Kanai and
Satyen who had brought that about.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:11.75pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>I
did not know Satyen much, for we were told that he was ill and had been kept in
the jail hospItal. Kanai too was not much of a mixer. But we could sometimes
hear him say, &quot;Jail is not for me. I shall give the slip to the British
Government.&quot; We used to laugh at his words.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:9.8pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>Let
me mention here a somewhat similar incident about Sri Aurobindo. One day, as we
sat in our cage in the court room, one of the more enterprising sentries – he
was an Englishman – came up to him and said jokingly, &quot;Abrindo (he could
not say Aurobindo), you are caught at last, you are caught at last.&quot; Sharp
and immediate came Sri Aurobindo's retort, &quot;And yet I will escape, and yet
I will escape!&quot;</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:10.3pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span
class=GramE>To come back to Kanai.</span> Most of the time he used to lie in bed
covered up from head to foot. If one got curious and asked him why, he would
reply, &quot;Oh, I am trying to find my way into the inner worlds.&quot; One
day, a jail warder came and gave him the good news that he had passed his B.A.
examination – the results were just out. Kanai had joined in our activities
while appearing for his examination. The next we heard about him was that he
was ill and had been removed to the jail hospital. And then...</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:9.35pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>All
of a sudden, one evening, the alarm bell of the jail rang out. This bell with
its furious: clang was rung only<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>
<span
style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;'>Page – 379<o:p></o:p></span></p>

<div class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;line-height:12.95pt;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none'>

<hr size=2 width="100%" align=center>

</div>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span class=GramE>in</span>
a grave emergency. At the same time a prisoner ran wildly about, shouting in
Hindustani, <i>&quot;Naren Gosain thanda, ho </i><st1:City><st1:place><span
  class=GramE><i>gaya</i></span></st1:place></st1:City><i>, Naren
Gosain thanda ho </i><st1:City><st1:place><i>gaya</i></st1:place></st1:City><i>,
</i>– &quot;Naren Gosain has been done for, Naren Gosain has been done
.for!&quot; Before we had time to think or realise what had happened, swarms of
armed policemen with rifles and fixed bayonets trooped into the courtyard where
we had been taking our evening stroll. They pushed us back into our quarters
like a drove of sheep or as if we had been animals for slaughter. Everyone was
searched and we got a few rude jostlings. We were made to form a line and sit
down on the spot and the order came, &quot;Now to the 44 Degrees.&quot;</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:13.5pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>Kanai
and others had wanted to get rid of Naren Gosain as soon as possible, not
simply because he had been a traitor to the country but in order that his
testimony be rejected in the Sessions court, for his evidence would have no
value unless it could be tested in cross-examination. This saved is all, at
least from the clutches of the law.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:7.65pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>Now
we were back again to where we had been at the beginning. <span
style='mso-bidi-font-weight:bold'>It<b> </b></span>was exactly as before,
except that now, instead If keeping us three in a room, they made us live
separately and alone in our cells. For the authorities had now come to realise
what kind of stuff we had beneath the mild surface. That was the end of our
golden age in jail. All our special facilities and privileges were withdrawn.
The court-room was now the only place where we could meet.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:6.0pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>The
case dragged on for quite sometime, for several months in fact. And then, the
trial once over, came a period of utter loneliness. We could do nothing but
await the results his state of dark night lasted nearly two months. I too had
occasional fits of depression during this period. <span class=GramE>&quot;Why,
and what, and where, and which way?&quot;</span> These were questions at came
up and clouded the mind. There was a sense of wariness. The one solace I found
– it came towards the end – was in the company of Vivekananda. That was 1en his
book, <st1:City><st1:place>C<i>olombo</i></st1:place></st1:City><i> to Almora, </i>came
to my hands. What<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>
<span
style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;'>Page – 380<o:p></o:p></span></p>

<div class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;line-height:12.95pt;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none'>

<hr size=2 width="100%" align=center>

</div>

<p class=MsoNormal style='line-height:150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:
none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span class=GramE>faith</span> and confidence, what
strength, what courage breathed through his words and his manner! All seemed to
get cleared up, especially when I read aloud the Vedic and Upanishadic <i>mantras
</i>like,</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.05in;text-indent:-.05in;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span class=GramE><i>vedaham</i></span><i>
etam purusam mahantam<o:p></o:p></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;text-align:justify;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;tab-stops:21.1pt;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:
none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><i><span style='mso-tab-count:1'>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><span class=GramE>adityavarnam</span>
tamasah parastat<o:p></o:p></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span class=GramE><i>tam</i></span><i>
eva <span class=SpellE>viditva</span> <span class=SpellE>atimrtyum</span> <span
class=SpellE>eti</span><o:p></o:p></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;text-align:justify;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;tab-stops:21.1pt;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:
none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><i><span style='mso-tab-count:1'>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><span class=SpellE><span
class=GramE>nanyah</span> pantha vidyate ayanaya.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p><i>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;tab-stops:21.1pt;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

</i>

<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;text-align:justify;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>&quot;I
know this mighty Person resplendent as the sun, who stands beyond all darkness,
by knowing whom alone one <span class=GramE>crosses</span> beyond death; there
is no other road for the great journey.&quot;</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>Or,</p>

<i>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span class=GramE>na</span>
tatra suryo bhati na candra-tarakam<o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;text-align:justify;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;tab-stops:.3in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:
none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span style='mso-tab-count:1'>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><span class=GramE>nema</span>
vidyuto bhanti kuto'yam agnih<o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span class=GramE>tam</span>
eva bhantam anubhati sarvam<o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;text-align:justify;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;tab-stops:.3in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:
none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span style='mso-tab-count:1'>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><span class=GramE>tasya</span>
bhasa sarvam idam vibhati.<o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;tab-stops:.3in;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

</i>

<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in;text-align:justify;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>&quot;There
the sun shines not and the moon has no splendour and. the stars are blind;
there these lightnings flash not, how then shall burn this earthly fire? All
that shines is but the shadow of this shining; <span class=GramE>all this</span>
universe is effulgent wilh his light.&quot;</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:9.6pt;text-align:justify;text-indent:
-9.6pt;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;
text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>Or else,</p>

<i>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in;mso-line-height-alt:9.6pt;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; line-height:150%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span
class=GramE>yasyaite</span> himavanto mahitva<o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-line-height-alt:9.6pt;mso-pagination:none;
mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; line-height:150%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

</i>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>&quot;Whose
glory these Himalayan snows declare.&quot;</p>

<i>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p>

</i>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:10.55pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>How
direct the touch of something eternally true, of a refuge unassailable, a
fearless state and foundation unshaken<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p><i>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;line-height:150%;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>
<span
style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;'>Page – 381<o:p></o:p></span></p>

<div class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;line-height:12.7pt;
mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none'>

<hr size=2 width="100%" align=center>

</div>

</i>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;line-height:150%;mso-pagination:
none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'><span class=GramE>was</span>
brought by the words of Vivekananda! They did in truth bring one near to the
Self and impart strength, atmada, balada. Later, I read about Oscar
Wilde and his experiences in jail, his De Profundis. Whenever I seemed
to fall into some deep abyss, immediately there would surge up from the inner
depths an aspiration for the heights. This for me was truly the darkest night
before dawn.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:11.5pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>One
day, as I sat deeply brooding with a rather heavy weight on my head, suddenly
there came the feeling of a something that was clear and bright and calm,
&quot;the horizons grew bright, the winds felt delightful,&quot; disah
praseduh marutah vavuh sukhah. I sensed now as if there was
nothing more to worry about. My release was destined, a release that was
already manifest within me and in the wind and the sky.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-indent:11.0pt;line-height:
150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>On
my last day in jail, we were summoned to court to hear the judgment. One by one
the names were called out, of those who had been convicted. My name was not
there; that is, I had been discharged. I did not feel any surprise or elation.
What had happened was perfectly natural, something that had to be. I took leave
of my friends and companions of all these <span class=GramE>days,</span> bade
them good-bye and paced back slowly out into the freedom of the open spaces, my
mind at peace. A year had passed.<o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></p><i>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:11.0pt;
line-height:150%;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:
none; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0'>
<span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;'>Page
– 382<o:p></o:p></span></p>

<div class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:11.0pt;
line-height:12.95pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:
none'>

<hr size=2 width="100%" align=center>

</div>

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